new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize