yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
