so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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