Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
