UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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