sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
