thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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