OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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