i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The best revenge is premature balding
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
