Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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