**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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