whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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