just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it glows. i had to have it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
