mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How's work?
Spinning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
