YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
