so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
