just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
