i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pants are for mortals
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i believe in u and ur pee
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
