Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
