Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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