that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
