I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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