I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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