I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
