Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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