Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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