its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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