Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
