My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize