I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
