Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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