Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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