just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
