nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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