Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize