I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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