Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
