Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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