just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
