these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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