Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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