I heard we made out
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
