Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
