Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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