So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
