Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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