Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i just had sex bonerless
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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