You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
you guys were way drunker than both of me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
