A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Alive.
So much puke
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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