so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
