Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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