You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
