did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
