i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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