Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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