somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
