I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
These tits shall not be calmed
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
