please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
