That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
