At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize