I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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