mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
