TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
