Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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