We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
