I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
either way he was missing a nipple.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
