margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
