I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
