We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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