Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
