Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
