Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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