I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
