A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
