So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
