Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Are we still banned from the library?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
