Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
