are you still at the devil's house?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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